The QUEEN of all Skills

Crimes against people and animals, religious biases induced hate crimes, honour killing, rapes, murders, assault and abuse, drug trafficking and vandalism. All of these words sound so familiar to us. The reason being, most of these words are a part of our regular news feed. Every single day, we have at least one headline of a rape or child abuse or murder. In this era, all of this has become so common, that many of us might not even cringe after coming across such words. Few might say, all of these crimes and may be beyond have been a part of history too. So why cringe now? The question rather should be, have we become so insensitive that a murder or rape or assault does not disgust us anymore?

Each and every year, the crime rates have been increasing. And I cannot help but wonder, how the world would have been if people understood how important a trait EMPATHY is? What if everyone possessed this skill? I bet the world would have been a far better place to live in. 

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others. Putting yourself in another's shoes and sharing how they feel. It is simply realizing that everyone has their own battles to fight, and someone else's pain is equally meaningful. Because when you understand someone else's pain, you would naturally want to do something to ease that pain and just like that concern, kindness, love and compassion is born. 

Empathy leads you to understand someone else's perspective, feeling their emotions and finally taking action to help ease their pain. It does sound easy yet only approximately 20% of the total world population is empathic, according to a research. Only 20%! Now I hope you see where the major problem starts. 

We never think how hurt a person might feel when we are rude towards them, we do not think how our parents might feel when we shout back at them and neither do we never gauge how a woman feels after someone eve-teased her. If at all we knew the pain we cause through our behaviour, if at all we developed empathy, the crime rates would have fallen and you could have felt better about yourself. 

Many of us might think "I show sympathy towards to people, so I am empathic too". Let me correct you there, Sympathy and Empathy are two different abilities. Majority of us can sympathize but not empathize. 

Sympathy

Empathy

Sympathy and Empathy are different. Sympathy means to feel bad for someone's misfortune. Whereas, Empathy means to understand exactly how the other person feels as if you have felt it yourself. Even if sympathy is an important ability, Empathy has higher significance. A person who is empathic can perceive new viewpoints, will be able to relate to others easily, will be open to feedback and new perspectives, will be kind and compassionate, will be easily approachable and above all will have an higher chances of realizing his goals. It also helps to be curious, a great listener, open-minded and self-aware. 

This skill has so much power that it is now also recognized as an important professional skill. Managers who are empathic are proved to work better and move the corporate ladder at a higher rate compared to non-empathic managers. 

You can start developing Empathy any time, or better NOW. 

1. Be Self-aware. Identify your own feelings and accept it. This is linked with Emotional intelligence. And in today's world, EQ is more important than IQ.  (Want to know more about Self Awareness and Emotional Intelligence? Stay updated on my blog... )

2. Ask others for their opinions and perspectives. Have a healthy discussion about the differences in your opinions. And accept what you have learned rather than being egoistic.

3. Get out of your comfort zone. Talk to people and understand their lives. 

4. Give and take feedback. Constructive feedbacks are essential and can not only develop Empathy but your overall personality.

5. Be aware of your biases. Majority of us were brought up with biases which we never realised. A classic example- MEN WILL BE MEN. Yes! This is a bias being fed to us regularly. And so many more. Identify your biases and UNLEARN them. That is when you start feeling more compassionate towards others.

6. Be an active listener. Do not just listen because some one is talking, rather listen to understand, to give back an effective opinion but without being judgemental.

7. Develop ambitions and goals that would lead to a social change. Remember You are not here just to receive but also to give back. When you start to give back to the society, your mission starts from there. 

8. Communicate! Open-up and be frank of what you feel. You might realize there is something more to the story only when you speak how you felt.

This is the age of Self Introspection, where people believe in self-awareness and therapy; where people believe it is important to have peace and not just wealth. 

It is time to develop the most powerful skill, the Queen of all skills- EMPATHY. This will open more doors with amazing opportunities for you because your perspective of the whole world is about to change.

Hope your life changes for the good as you develop Empathy! Wishing you luck.

Is it OK to be confused?

I had this topic in my mind from quite some time now but I kept postponing this topic but more than any other time, today this question is more important as we keep asking this question to ourselves. We all are going through an unprecedented crisis. This COVID-19 has hit us all hard, and 2020 seems to be blurring already. Tragic news surrounds us every other day. People losing jobs, not able to survive financially, dying and so much more.

All this hits us, it starts messing with our emotional stability. We start feeling anxious, lost about our lives direction, stressed about our future and confused of how things will turn out to be. And trust me, everyone around is facing similar difficulties.

And yes, it is absolutely OK to be confused. This is one of my major understandings from Michelle Obama’s memoir- Becoming. Can you imagine? Even the former first lady of USA was confused about her choices. As outsiders, we think the great personalities- the celebrities, the politicians, the leaders all had a path defined and followed them and became successful. But that is never the story. Their choices made them great and successful. And yes they too were confused many a times, they too felt lost amidst the chaos, but they were emotionally strong people to come out of it all and emerge stronger and better than before.

Times like today test us for our mental capabilities. But that is how we grow through life. We cannot stagnate our abilities. We need to keep learning and growing.

Yet when a person gets any tragic news they start questioning themselves on how things will turn out for them. Here are few things you could do when you think the situation is going out of control and you cannot manage anymore.

1. Reason out why you are stressed. Is it a toxic relationship, or any issue with the family, or financial issues, or career choices? Generally, when we feel lost or depressed, it is because things are not happening the way we planned it. Sit and think whether you can change your plan, or may be what is happening now is all for the best.
2. You are always in control. You can change the way you feel by walking out of that toxic relationship, or by talking to your close ones. Feeling depressed and doing nothing about it will not help.
3. Note down the things you are grateful about. In such a crisis, if you still have a roof above you, food to eat thrice a day, friends and family support, you are luckier than majority people around. Be grateful. Gratitude each and every day brings in positivism.
4. Exercise. Exercise is proven to produce an increase in endorphins, which can make us feel less depressed and works out as a booster for many.
5. Improve your Spirituality Quotient- Meditation or praying helps to feel we are in control. You might be an atheist- but my point is BELIEVE- either in god, or in science/ universe or in energy. You need to believe in at least one of these to move ahead with a positive outlook. Pray if you believe in god or meditate if you do not.
6. Sort your thoughts. If possible, write it down in a journal or a book. When you write it down it relieves the stress from you. Write whatever is in your mind and read it to yourself. This enables you to feel that the burden is released from your shoulders.
7. Help others. For a lot many, helping other brings peace to their mind. Volunteer to help. India is going through crisis, no better time to help others than now. Helping others will make you feel good.
8. Most importantly speak. Talk it out to any trusted person, a friend or a family. And if you think that is not possible. Talk to a stranger. Call the helpline numbers available and just tell them how you feel. They are trained to listen and to help you feel good.

All these are tried and tested methods by me (except the helpline call method). I have used each of these and yes they have benefited immensely. So this is not a rant, but something that I have tried out myself…

If you are not depressed and are happy about the way things are working out for you, still these steps will be helpful to you. Because, someone close to your heart might be breaking down at this moment. Remember to observe your close ones behaviour, remember to LISTEN to them and not mock at them. Such are the times when you stand up for yourself and for your near and dear ones.

We need to understand that being sad is not same as being depressed. Depression is far more terrible. It does not have sad faces rather it hides behind smiling faces. It makes a person feel helpless and lost. It is something that drains your energy so much that you lose all your motivation. You just go by your daily routine without any motive. Such behaviour when prolonged is depression. Being sad for two days is not depression and it is high time we identify depression and work on it. Depression needs professional help and do not stop yourself from communicating to a professional. 

There is an interesting research called as ‘Gallup world poll’. It surveys people from various countries to try and find out reasons and solutions for various social concerns. An interesting point from Gallup world poll is about happiness. It proves that people are happy based on the money they make only up to a certain limit. Beyond that limit, the happiness levels do not show considerable difference. So, if you are earning 25 lac today and feel you are happiest, chances are that even after earning 50 lac you will still feel the same level of happiness. Funny isn’t it? Especially because how we Indians (read- educated Indians) relate money and happiness so much that we think only money can bring us happiness and solve our problems. While chasing money, we forget our family and friends giving way to poor mental health. 

Money is important but what is more important is happiness and mental health. You might earn all the money in the world but be tensed and stressed and will not be able to enjoy the money you earned.

Happiness lies in the relationship we maintain with ourselves and with others around us. It is time to prioritise happiness and mental peace before its too late… 

It is ok to be confused! It is absolutely fine to be sad! But it is not ok to be depressed. It's not the way of life. Reach out to yourself and to others for there are helping hands around always.

If you ever feel low (especially for students), here are few videos that might motivate you to be your better versions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGtJE58bli0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDChDOM1_U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j0pokKf2e0

A Thousand Splendid Suns- Khaled Hosseini

Have you ever read a book or watched a movie with a happy yet a pain-soaked ending? And if you have experienced something like that, did you then hope for the climax to change even when you realised the climax did justice to the story?

'A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini' is one such beautiful story filled with sobs and sorrows and a happy but tear-filled climax that shakes your soul.

'A Thousand Splendid Suns' is a story of two women, Mariam and Laila from Herat and Kabul respectively, in Afghanistan. Set in the phase of political turmoil in Afghanistan, ranging from the Soviet rule to Taliban taking reigns in its hand; it is a heart-wrenching tale revolving around the worlds of two Afghani women, whose destinies, filled with sufferings and miseries, brought them under one roof. Though coming together did not end their miseries, they did find solace in each others' sorrows. There are some other perfectly-placed characters without whom the story would not have seemed complete.

The narration, in simple lucid language, moves like a motion picture in front of your eyes and is complemented by words of emotions, capable of moving even a heart made of stone. It proves to be a smooth blend of the protagonists' lives connected with historical significance of the events in the background.

The real beauty of the book is its plot which is unpredictable yet persuasive.  Just when you start to feel a bit calm and convinced, and expect no more misfortune for either of the protagonists; the twist in the tale leaves you shocked and shaken, and since the story is surrounded by a series of true chronology, you can’t complain of drama.

The story brings in multiple themes of love, terror, suppression of women and hopes together and weaves it all into a beautiful heart-wrenching story.

After reading this book, I could not read any other book for almost two months. This book has raised my expectations from every other book and I could not read anything else with the fear of not fulfilling these expectations. 

Rarely, do we come across such a book or a movie that change our perspective by tearing us apart from within. Even after so long, the book's story remains in my heart and Mariam & Laila still invokes pain in me. And truth to be told, every woman is a Mariam or a Laila, with her own struggles yet giving out happiness. 

One beautiful aspect of the novel is even if the story is filled with hardships and sorrows, a strong sense of Love fills throughout the story. And isn’t it Love that makes us do all impossible tasks. Both Mariam and Laila, despite all the sorrows are filled with Love until the very end.

Khaled Hosseini mentions that he wrote the book so that the world knows what the women and families had endured in the Taliban hit Afghanistan, and yes he does justice to his mission. But more importantly, the story teaches you to be grateful of what we have by not taking anything or anyone for granted. And to treat everyone with kindness because you do not know the story of strength that person holds.  

The story teaches us love, being grateful, endurance and strength and that Life will never be easy, yet we all have something to accomplish here, in this world, may be for ourselves or for others... Yet how easily we forget ourselves among all the world's chaos. How easily we believe we aren't good enough. 

Life and Love are the most beautiful gifts. Make sure you gift both of it to all or at least to some. 

“Mariam is in Laila’s own heart, where she shines with the bursting radiance of a thousand splendid suns”- though Mariam is betrayed constantly by the men in her society, she still finds the strength to love beyond all and her ultimate action emphasises how strong women can be and how they shine on with sacrifices.

PS- "A Thousand Splendid Suns" is one of the best works of Khaled Hosseini. If you haven't read it yet, this is the time to read it.

"Who moved my Cheese?"- Dr. Spencer Johnson

"Who moved my cheese" by Dr Spencer Johnson is an absolutely great and complete book I came across. It gives us the same message as most self help books, but by using an interesting method of story telling. The book has four characters: two mice- Sniff and Scurry, and two tiny people- Hem and Haw. The common thing about these four is that each morning they wake up early and set out into a labyrinth to find their "Cheese". The story is about how these four characters try to adapt to new changes around them. The author tells us that we all are trying to find our "cheese" but the concepts of cheese differ from person to person. For some, it could be the ownership of a company, for some it could be a small beautiful family, for others it could be materialistic things and for some it could be satisfaction. So, cheese = dream. Basically this 'cheese' is what makes us happy. As the characters try to find the "cheese", they come across some life lessons which obviously the author wants to share with us. 

In this blog, I would like to share the lessons I learnt from the book...

1. Finding Cheese:- Finding our 'cheese' isn't easy. We need to struggle and be diligent to find it. We may walk into the wrong path, but do not be discouraged. It will take time to find our 'cheese'. But once you find it, it will be worth all the hard work. "Having cheese makes you happy"

2. Change is inevitable:- We, humans, tend to hold on to things longer than we should. Do not take it for granted, because change is inevitable. Keep noticing the changes around and be ready for any kind of change in the  future. "The more important the cheese is to you, the more you want to hold onto it."

3. New Cheese:- Once you find your 'cheese', do not get comfortable and lazy. If change occurs, do not over analyze things. Probably it's time for you to get out of your comfort zone because out there your 'new cheese' might be waiting. Do not try to find your 'new cheese' in the same location where you already had 'old cheese'. Probably it is time to move on to a new place or perhaps into your maze. "It's Maze time" 

4. Fear :- Mostly, when change occurs, we are reluctant to accept it. We try to reason it out and think of how nice things were earlier. We soon realise we are afraid to accept the change, because 'What if there is no new cheese out there?' or ' What if it is dangerous out there?'. This 'what if' actually tends to ruin our situations. And at such times, we may have a companion who goes through a similar predicament and does not accept change and also instils his fear into us, which delays our adaptability. When afraid to accept a change, just ask yourself, ''what would I do if I wasn't afraid?''

5. Adaptability:- The sooner we adapt, the sooner we find 'new cheese', the better we progress. Adaptability is such an important characteristic to possess. Accepting the change and moving on to a new level is important for the overall growth of a human. While accepting change we may feel lost but sooner or later we will find our path and realise that it isn't that bad to be back in maze. "Adapt to change quickly, the quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you can enjoy the new cheese." 

6. Affirmations:- Positive affirmations have a great influence on us. Affirming by imagining ourselves achieving the 'new cheese', helps a lot in the new path and leads to our 'cheese'. "When you change what you believe, you change what you do!"

• "Smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old"- keep reviewing your 'cheese' for you will know when it is time to change.

• "When you move beyond your fear, you feel free"- At some point, you need to let go off your fear, because holding on to it causes damage. 

• "Move to the new cheese"- Even after you have your 'cheese', it is wise to review it and also find new choices, so that you know what lies ahead in case of a change and does not live in illusion.

Sniff- Who Smells the change in the air and tries adapt as soon as possible.
Scurry- Who Realises change is inevitable and races into the direction of a new path immediately.
Hem- Who does not want to change or let go the 'old cheese'.
Haw- Who is stunt bu change but then adapts and moves on to the 'new cheese' at the right time.

We all know at least one sniff, scurry, Hem and Haw in our lives. But who do we want to be? Definitely, we all do not want to be like HEM.

Are we ready to accept the change and move on to our 'new cheese'? 

PS- All the quotes in this blog are taken from the book- "who moved my cheese" by Dr. Spencer Johnson.
You can watch the original video version of the book here.

The Magical Ingredient

While in a conversation with one of my mentors, he mentioned a very powerful tool especially for teaching and kept on suggesting us to use it as frequently as possible. And the tool is not a mystery; in fact it is something which even a common man is not oblivious to. And it is so common that we forget its impact on us. Appreciation- if used considerably can work wonders. ‘Appreciating a learner motivates him to do better’ was the conclusion of the conversation we had. And this made me think; I actually drifted back to my school days and thought of this tool and its role in moulding me. And questions started popping up- Why do I still look up to that one teacher from my school days? Why is Mrs. Seema my inspiration for teaching? What different did she do in those four years, when she was my English teacher, to change a silent girl to a girl recognized significantly by the whole school. What was the magical ingredient she mixed with teaching? And I acknowledged a fact that the magical ingredient and the tool I stumbled upon recently is the same- Appreciation. Unknowingly, this magical ingredient was used on me and of course bought in miraculous changes. But how do I say it had a huge impact on me? How did I measure?

Let me just take you to my school days and introduce you to my friend. We both had been friends since when we were 3 years old. We were family friends and neighbors. We joined the same school and were classmates for 10 long years. She was known for her bold and extrovert nature whereas I was a reserved child. But we were treated in a bit different way at school. I was always appreciated for my academics and extra-curricular activities. And she was a graceful dancer and had gathered accolades for it, but was condemned for her bold nature and comparatively low grades. She accepted the appreciation but focused more on the criticism. And the criticism led her to rebellious nature. Every year she tended to grow bolder and the criticism increased and hatred grew in her heart for the people who criticized her. Being young, we never recognized these changes. We never knew what appreciation or criticism could do to anyone. And the appreciation I got, brought me to the limelight and so I always tried to maintain the appreciation I received. In college, she started being more aggressive and rebellious and we had to advise her to change a bit. But thinking that it was criticism she completely turned against us- her friends. She started spending time with people who appreciated her- but unfortunately for the wrong things. But all she could see was the appreciation she got, the attention she seeked was hers now. How things changed adversely, we never knew. And one day I received a call which said she committed suicide and she was no more with us. Shocked and broken, I could not digest the news. All we knew was she was struggling with depression and finally gave up. And now the inevitable thought I have is- what if we all appreciated her a bit more? What if she was not criticized, instead appreciated for the talent she had? Would it have changed anything?No, I do not blame anyone for her decision but maybe, just maybe, one line of appreciation just the day before her suicide could have changed her mind from committing it.And today, I cannot say I am the epitome of success but yes I can surely see a clear path leading to my life goals. We both grew up together, but we had different life paths and somewhere ‘appreciation and criticism’ has played a major role.
We never know what impact our words have on others. But my experience has shown the impact of appreciation as well as criticism.

We put in so much effort for that one appreciation from our friends or family or teachers. But how many times have we acknowledged someone’s efforts and appreciated those efforts. When was the last time you appreciated your child, you siblings, your parents and your friends? To nurture a fruitful tree, we need to water it each day. We may not water it during rainy season but it needs extra care during summers. Similarly, to nurture a beautiful human being, we need to appreciate them regularly, appreciate them more in their bad times to motivate them and stand beside them in his good times. And don’t just appreciate others; appreciate yourself as well, for you are a miracle of god. Appreciate everything around you, and you will see the positivity it creates in you and others. Add appreciation as a magical ingredient and see how beautiful your life recipe will turn out!

When was the last time you appreciated someone? When was the last time you felt appreciated?

PRESENTATION SKILLS

I reminisce of having a presentation on the topic "Leadership skills" during my college. And I prepared well before and guess what, on the day of presentation, I was the star. My presentation went on well and my Professor was very happy with me. And a friend of mine asked how the presentation went on so well. And ofcourse my answer was Practice! But it is not just about practice but there is something more to it. And the 'something more' are few simple yet very important things you need to master which are explained below. 

Presentation is a medium of communication for various situations, such as discussion with a group/team, for an executive meeting or even as a tool for explaining to colleagues or as a teaching aid. Presentation is basically needed to acquaint someone with your message or opinion. Getting your message across clearly and effectively is a skill. And this decade demands presentation skills. Whether you are an executive, director or student, if you want to be an entrepreneur or contest a college or political elections, you may be asked to make a presentation. Presentation skills are inter-related to public speaking. Ironically, public speaking is a skill needed to excel in any field. And the funny fact is, Public speaking is ranked among the top five phobias. Yes! Among the TOP FIVE!!

You may need to give a presentation for an interview or may be for a conference, or for a seminar or speech. The situation can arrive at any moment. And it can be a disconcerting task…

And the question is- Why to give a presentation that is anything less than magnetic?? No point, right?

There are few points you need to keep in mind when giving a presentation {only keep this in mind if you are looking forward to give a zestful presentation :p  }

     CONTENT

• You are not required to include every detail. Identify few key points and include them.
• Gather 100% content. Add 10% to your slides and use the remaining 90% for explanation and questionnaire session.
• Capture your audience attention as soon as you begin. And also end strongly. Assure yourself that your message has been delivered abruptly.
• Use examples wherever possible. People understand better when you relate your content to examples.
• Try and add a bit humour to engage your audience. The more you entertain them, the more attentive they are. You can add humour by adding abrupt funny slides. But try not to divert much from your original topic.

DELIVERY

• The attention span of an average adult is four-eight seconds and so don’t dwell on a specific subject for too long.
• Ask questions to keep your audience engaged. It can be as simple as asking if your audience have understood everything you have presented so far.
• Avoid speaking softly or in a very high tone. If your tone makes you look unconfident, try to work on it. It takes practice to change your voice modulation.
• Avoid usage, Umm, of fillers, Uh. Yes! Avoid it and again this can be done only through practice.
• Avoid using negative words like don’t. Do not tell your audience don’t worry, instead tell them why they need not worry. Try to be positive enough so that your vibes make you feel confident.
• Practice being confident.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

AUDIENCE   

• Keep your audience in mind and you will notice a drastic change. Determine their expectations from the presentation. 
• You cannot bombard 4 grade students with a heavy presentation.
• You need to bow down to the audience level and bring them above with you through the presentation.  

   

     BODY LANGUAGE 

• Stand at a comfortable distance and position. And that does not mean yyou can lean on the table. NO! You want to be perceived as a confident person and not  someone with a casual approach.
• Maintain eye contact with your audience. Rather than surfing through them, maintain eye contact with one person at a time.
•  Keep your shoulders back and smile genuinely. You can walk around the audience when needed and make use of gestures. Make your movement purposeful.

Presenting doesn’t have to be terrible or something you avoid. To present your ideas clearly, confidently, engagingly and purposefully, you need to practice. Practice well and be confident about your ability to present your ideas/opinions.

You need to go through your presentations well before hand. You might be the most confident speaker, yet you need to go through it 2-3 times.

P.S. – The above tips have been given, keeping in mind, that you already know to make a good presentation.

Remember: - "All the great speakers were bad speakers at first"                                                                                                                             - Ralph Waldo Emerson

ASSERTIVENESS

Speaking and listening are considered as art. Those who excel in this art are loved and valued by all. Assertiveness is an important factor needed to excel in the art of speaking.
Assertiveness is a regular term usually used in social skills. Being assertive while communicating is essential and one of the strength of a better communicator. Being assertive means expressing yours or other people's view/rights in a calm way, without being aggressive. Assertive people are able to express themselves without upsetting others or themselves. Being aggressive shows lack of self-confidence and hence being assertive will help you in many ways.

Assertiveness means speaking up for your rights, your thoughts, and beliefs in an honest, polite and respectful ways.

 Assertiveness shows your respect towards other people's opinion and also towards yourself. Whether at home or work, with colleagues or customers, being assertive helps you expressing yourself in a positive and calm way without restricting other people's opinion or rights.

Being Assertive:

Assertive behavior includes:- 

• Being assertive involves considering other people's and your own wishes, needs, desires and perspective.
• Expressing views openly and encouraging others for the same.
• Listening to others views and reacting appropriately whether you are in agreement with their view or not.
• Being able to admit mistakes.
• Being able to apologize
• Regularly appreciating others for what they have done or are doing.
• Maintaining self-control and self-esteem.
• Being fair and kind to others.

Being Aggressive:

Aggressive behavior fails to consider other people's view point or feelings.

Aggressiveness towards other people lowers their self-esteem and tampers their rights. Your aggressive nature will lead to other people reacting to you in a non-assertive way. Aggressive person never appreciates others for their work. Aggressive response shows lack of self-control and your desire that everyone should agree to your view. It leaves a bad impression on people. Aggressive nature includes- rushing someone through their talk, ignoring other people's view, telling rather than asking and so on. It can be a bad or distressing experience to be spoken to aggressively.

Being Passive:

Many people respond in a passive way because they prioritize others rights and opinions. A passive response means to say “yes” to requests when actually you want to say “no”. Passive response is used to flatter the opposite person. Passive response does not let a person to show true feeling. Such people do not regard them as equals. This also means you allow others to take responsibilities and decisions for you. When you respond passively, you put yourself down in some way. If you constantly depreciate yourself in this way, you will feel inferior to others. 

The use of either passive or aggressive behaviour in personal relationships can have undesirable consequences for those you are communicating with and it may hinder positive moves forward

The biggest difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how your words affect the well-being of others.
Interaction is a two-way process and thus reactions may differ. It will be easy to be assertive to your friend than you boss. Anyways, being easy or not an Assertive response will help you boost self-confidence and help you be better and also maintain you relationships in a better way.

“You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart” – John Ford