The Magical Ingredient

While in a conversation with one of my mentors, he mentioned a very powerful tool especially for teaching and kept on suggesting us to use it as frequently as possible. And the tool is not a mystery; in fact it is something which even a common man is not oblivious to. And it is so common that we forget its impact on us. Appreciation- if used considerably can work wonders. ‘Appreciating a learner motivates him to do better’ was the conclusion of the conversation we had. And this made me think; I actually drifted back to my school days and thought of this tool and its role in moulding me. And questions started popping up- Why do I still look up to that one teacher from my school days? Why is Mrs. Seema my inspiration for teaching? What different did she do in those four years, when she was my English teacher, to change a silent girl to a girl recognized significantly by the whole school. What was the magical ingredient she mixed with teaching? And I acknowledged a fact that the magical ingredient and the tool I stumbled upon recently is the same- Appreciation. Unknowingly, this magical ingredient was used on me and of course bought in miraculous changes. But how do I say it had a huge impact on me? How did I measure?

Let me just take you to my school days and introduce you to my friend. We both had been friends since when we were 3 years old. We were family friends and neighbors. We joined the same school and were classmates for 10 long years. She was known for her bold and extrovert nature whereas I was a reserved child. But we were treated in a bit different way at school. I was always appreciated for my academics and extra-curricular activities. And she was a graceful dancer and had gathered accolades for it, but was condemned for her bold nature and comparatively low grades. She accepted the appreciation but focused more on the criticism. And the criticism led her to rebellious nature. Every year she tended to grow bolder and the criticism increased and hatred grew in her heart for the people who criticized her. Being young, we never recognized these changes. We never knew what appreciation or criticism could do to anyone. And the appreciation I got, brought me to the limelight and so I always tried to maintain the appreciation I received. In college, she started being more aggressive and rebellious and we had to advise her to change a bit. But thinking that it was criticism she completely turned against us- her friends. She started spending time with people who appreciated her- but unfortunately for the wrong things. But all she could see was the appreciation she got, the attention she seeked was hers now. How things changed adversely, we never knew. And one day I received a call which said she committed suicide and she was no more with us. Shocked and broken, I could not digest the news. All we knew was she was struggling with depression and finally gave up. And now the inevitable thought I have is- what if we all appreciated her a bit more? What if she was not criticized, instead appreciated for the talent she had? Would it have changed anything?No, I do not blame anyone for her decision but maybe, just maybe, one line of appreciation just the day before her suicide could have changed her mind from committing it.And today, I cannot say I am the epitome of success but yes I can surely see a clear path leading to my life goals. We both grew up together, but we had different life paths and somewhere ‘appreciation and criticism’ has played a major role.
We never know what impact our words have on others. But my experience has shown the impact of appreciation as well as criticism.

We put in so much effort for that one appreciation from our friends or family or teachers. But how many times have we acknowledged someone’s efforts and appreciated those efforts. When was the last time you appreciated your child, you siblings, your parents and your friends? To nurture a fruitful tree, we need to water it each day. We may not water it during rainy season but it needs extra care during summers. Similarly, to nurture a beautiful human being, we need to appreciate them regularly, appreciate them more in their bad times to motivate them and stand beside them in his good times. And don’t just appreciate others; appreciate yourself as well, for you are a miracle of god. Appreciate everything around you, and you will see the positivity it creates in you and others. Add appreciation as a magical ingredient and see how beautiful your life recipe will turn out!

When was the last time you appreciated someone? When was the last time you felt appreciated?