The QUEEN of all Skills

Crimes against people and animals, religious biases induced hate crimes, honour killing, rapes, murders, assault and abuse, drug trafficking and vandalism. All of these words sound so familiar to us. The reason being, most of these words are a part of our regular news feed. Every single day, we have at least one headline of a rape or child abuse or murder. In this era, all of this has become so common, that many of us might not even cringe after coming across such words. Few might say, all of these crimes and may be beyond have been a part of history too. So why cringe now? The question rather should be, have we become so insensitive that a murder or rape or assault does not disgust us anymore?

Each and every year, the crime rates have been increasing. And I cannot help but wonder, how the world would have been if people understood how important a trait EMPATHY is? What if everyone possessed this skill? I bet the world would have been a far better place to live in. 

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others. Putting yourself in another's shoes and sharing how they feel. It is simply realizing that everyone has their own battles to fight, and someone else's pain is equally meaningful. Because when you understand someone else's pain, you would naturally want to do something to ease that pain and just like that concern, kindness, love and compassion is born. 

Empathy leads you to understand someone else's perspective, feeling their emotions and finally taking action to help ease their pain. It does sound easy yet only approximately 20% of the total world population is empathic, according to a research. Only 20%! Now I hope you see where the major problem starts. 

We never think how hurt a person might feel when we are rude towards them, we do not think how our parents might feel when we shout back at them and neither do we never gauge how a woman feels after someone eve-teased her. If at all we knew the pain we cause through our behaviour, if at all we developed empathy, the crime rates would have fallen and you could have felt better about yourself. 

Many of us might think "I show sympathy towards to people, so I am empathic too". Let me correct you there, Sympathy and Empathy are two different abilities. Majority of us can sympathize but not empathize. 

Sympathy

Empathy

Sympathy and Empathy are different. Sympathy means to feel bad for someone's misfortune. Whereas, Empathy means to understand exactly how the other person feels as if you have felt it yourself. Even if sympathy is an important ability, Empathy has higher significance. A person who is empathic can perceive new viewpoints, will be able to relate to others easily, will be open to feedback and new perspectives, will be kind and compassionate, will be easily approachable and above all will have an higher chances of realizing his goals. It also helps to be curious, a great listener, open-minded and self-aware. 

This skill has so much power that it is now also recognized as an important professional skill. Managers who are empathic are proved to work better and move the corporate ladder at a higher rate compared to non-empathic managers. 

You can start developing Empathy any time, or better NOW. 

1. Be Self-aware. Identify your own feelings and accept it. This is linked with Emotional intelligence. And in today's world, EQ is more important than IQ.  (Want to know more about Self Awareness and Emotional Intelligence? Stay updated on my blog... )

2. Ask others for their opinions and perspectives. Have a healthy discussion about the differences in your opinions. And accept what you have learned rather than being egoistic.

3. Get out of your comfort zone. Talk to people and understand their lives. 

4. Give and take feedback. Constructive feedbacks are essential and can not only develop Empathy but your overall personality.

5. Be aware of your biases. Majority of us were brought up with biases which we never realised. A classic example- MEN WILL BE MEN. Yes! This is a bias being fed to us regularly. And so many more. Identify your biases and UNLEARN them. That is when you start feeling more compassionate towards others.

6. Be an active listener. Do not just listen because some one is talking, rather listen to understand, to give back an effective opinion but without being judgemental.

7. Develop ambitions and goals that would lead to a social change. Remember You are not here just to receive but also to give back. When you start to give back to the society, your mission starts from there. 

8. Communicate! Open-up and be frank of what you feel. You might realize there is something more to the story only when you speak how you felt.

This is the age of Self Introspection, where people believe in self-awareness and therapy; where people believe it is important to have peace and not just wealth. 

It is time to develop the most powerful skill, the Queen of all skills- EMPATHY. This will open more doors with amazing opportunities for you because your perspective of the whole world is about to change.

Hope your life changes for the good as you develop Empathy! Wishing you luck.