I had this topic in my mind from quite some time now but I kept postponing this topic but more than any other time, today this question is more important as we keep asking this question to ourselves. We all are going through an unprecedented crisis. This COVID-19 has hit us all hard, and 2020 seems to be blurring already. Tragic news surrounds us every other day. People losing jobs, not able to survive financially, dying and so much more.
All this hits us, it starts messing with our emotional stability. We start feeling anxious, lost about our lives direction, stressed about our future and confused of how things will turn out to be. And trust me, everyone around is facing similar difficulties.
And yes, it is absolutely OK to be confused. This is one of my major understandings from Michelle Obama’s memoir- Becoming. Can you imagine? Even the former first lady of USA was confused about her choices. As outsiders, we think the great personalities- the celebrities, the politicians, the leaders all had a path defined and followed them and became successful. But that is never the story. Their choices made them great and successful. And yes they too were confused many a times, they too felt lost amidst the chaos, but they were emotionally strong people to come out of it all and emerge stronger and better than before.
Times like today test us for our mental capabilities. But that is how we grow through life. We cannot stagnate our abilities. We need to keep learning and growing.
Yet when a person gets any tragic news they start questioning themselves on how things will turn out for them. Here are few things you could do when you think the situation is going out of control and you cannot manage anymore.
- Reason out why you are stressed. Is it a toxic relationship, or any issue with the family, or financial issues, or career choices? Generally, when we feel lost or depressed, it is because things are not happening the way we planned it. Sit and think whether you can change your plan, or may be what is happening now is all for the best.
- You are always in control. You can change the way you feel by walking out of that toxic relationship, or by talking to your close ones. Feeling depressed and doing nothing about it will not help.
- Note down the things you are grateful about. In such a crisis, if you still have a roof above you, food to eat thrice a day, friends and family support, you are luckier than majority people around. Be grateful. Gratitude each and every day brings in positivism.
- Exercise. Exercise is proven to produce an increase in endorphins, which can make us feel less depressed and works out as a booster for many.
- Improve your Spirituality Quotient- Meditation or praying helps to feel we are in control. You might be an atheist- but my point is BELIEVE- either in god, or in science/ universe or in energy. You need to believe in at least one of these to move ahead with a positive outlook. Pray if you believe in god or meditate if you do not.
- Sort your thoughts. If possible, write it down in a journal or a book. When you write it down it relieves the stress from you. Write whatever is in your mind and read it to yourself. This enables you to feel that the burden is released from your shoulders.
- Help others. For a lot many, helping other brings peace to their mind. Volunteer to help. India is going through crisis, no better time to help others than now. Helping others will make you feel good.
- Most importantly speak. Talk it out to any trusted person, a friend or a family. And if you think that is not possible. Talk to a stranger. Call the helpline numbers available and just tell them how you feel. They are trained to listen and to help you feel good.
All these are tried and tested methods by me (except the helpline call method). I have used each of these and yes they have benefited immensely. So this is not a rant, but something that I have tried out myself…
If you are not depressed and are happy about the way things are working out for you, still these steps will be helpful to you. Because, someone close to your heart might be breaking down at this moment. Remember to observe your close ones behaviour, remember to LISTEN to them and not mock at them. Such are the times when you stand up for yourself and for your near and dear ones.
We need to understand that being sad is not same as being depressed. Depression is far more terrible. It does not have sad faces rather it hides behind smiling faces. It makes a person feel helpless and lost. It is something that drains your energy so much that you lose all your motivation. You just go by your daily routine without any motive. Such behaviour when prolonged is depression. Being sad for two days is not depression and it is high time we identify depression and work on it. Depression needs professional help and do not stop yourself from communicating to a professional.
There is an interesting research called as ‘Gallup world poll’. It surveys people from various countries to try and find out reasons and solutions for various social concerns. An interesting point from Gallup world poll is about happiness. It proves that people are happy based on the money they make only up to a certain limit. Beyond that limit, the happiness levels do not show considerable difference. So, if you are earning 25 lac today and feel you are happiest, chances are that even after earning 50 lac you will still feel the same level of happiness. Funny isn’t it? Especially because how we Indians (read- educated Indians) relate money and happiness so much that we think only money can bring us happiness and solve our problems. While chasing money, we forget our family and friends giving way to poor mental health.
Money is important but what is more important is happiness and mental health. You might earn all the money in the world but be tensed and stressed and will not be able to enjoy the money you earned.
Happiness lies in the relationship we maintain with ourselves and with others around us. It is time to prioritise happiness and mental peace before its too late…
It is ok to be confused! It is absolutely fine to be sad! But it is not ok to be depressed. It's not the way of life. Reach out to yourself and to others for there are helping hands around always.
If you ever feel low (especially for students), here are few videos that might motivate you to be your better versions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGtJE58bli0
