Conflict arises from differing perspective. We cannot expect everyone to agree with the same opinion. It mostly emerges when you are in stressful situations. Poor conflict management can lead to health issues like high blood pressure or increased risk of heart attack.
Conflict is an inevitable part of
relationships. But learning to deal with them in a
healthy, respectful and positive way is crucial. If handled
well, it helps in strengthening your bond with people. Proper
conflict resolution helps you maintain strong relationships at personal and
professional level. Learning to deal with conflict with a positive and
constructive attitude is important for your well-being and your relationships.
Conflicts are categorized as:
1.
Personal conflict- Usually about your identity or aspects
of relationship like trust, loyalty or lack of
respect.
2.
Instrumental
Conflicts- Related to your goals, procedure
or structure you follow.
3.
Conflict of
interests- Difference of interests for example
a couple disagreeing over the colour of a wall.
Unhealthy responses to conflict:
- Showing explosive, hurtful and resentful reactions.
- The fear of expressing
resulting to avoidance of conflict
- Withdrawal of love or closeness.
Healthy responses to conflict:
- Ready to forgive and forget
- Seeking compromise and avoiding
punishment
- Understanding that everyone has
the right to express and follow their own perspective
- Respecting other's decision
Tactics to deal
with conflict:
1. Compete: Here, it will be a win/lose situation. It will
create a loser but the loser should let out his concerns. It is not perceived
as an ideal solution.
2. Collaboration: This will be a win/win situation and hence
perceived as ideal outcome. This is a time consuming step where both the
parties need to discuss and find a solution agreeable to all.
3. Negotiation: This situation is better that win/lose but
not apt as win/win. Both the parties agree on a mid-point solution. Both
parties need to give up something. It is a compromise leading to lesser
commitment outcome.
4. Avoidance: If the conflict is unimportant then both
parties act as if there is no problem. But this method should not be
opted in crucial topics as it may lead to "I am not OK, You are
not OK" kind situation.
5. Smoothing over: It can be used where relationship is more
important than dealing with conflict. But it may lead to one person being OK
and the other feeling the need to resolve the conflict.
Few life skills will
help you in Conflict resolution:
1. Assertiveness: You need to be able to express yourself clearly
and firmly but without aggression.
3. Understand: Understand what others are exactly trying to
express.
4. Empathy: Try and put yourself in other's shoes and analyze their
situation.
5. Encourage: Encourage the other person to speak up and try finding
solution.
6. Limitations: Know your limitations and act
accordingly. Do not use harsh tone.
7. Clarify: Clarify with others if you did not understand any statement,
rather than assuming.
Remember:- "Winning the situation is not important, but winning Hearts is!"
